vomit!

vomit.....its everywhere i look.....it doesnt necasarilly matter in what form it comes in..ive just concluded that my life seems to revolve around it.....wether it be the fact i have a volleyball team of children or the obvious that my house is starting to resemble a mini zoo or animal sanctuary...the point is there is vomit everywhere and i cant seem to ever escape it...lets have a look at my vomit ridden house....
i decided to be extra nice to my dogs the other day and bought them some prime mince from the butcher as a treat...a treat for who?...me obviously as my maltese decided that it was so delightfull a gift he scoffed it down faster than a sugar aholic in a candy store...he then proceeded to my room to "retreat" and throw it all back up again...which i found when i stood beside my bed barefoot in the dark...
my cat ...loveley boy he is...is a mouse catching machine...he eats it too!!....well nearly all of it..usually he seems to choke on the head and throw it back up on the kitchen floor....nice!
even my birds vommit..well its actually they regurgitate thier food and lovingly feed each other...THIER VOMMIT!!!!
stomach bugs..DONT ASK...oh my god...when a stomach bug enters my house its like the bubonic plague..it runs rife through my house..but has a very caring way of going about it...we like to share here...even when it involves your gorgous 3 year old coming to you and says "i feel...BLERGH"..yep shared lovingly all over me....then we may have a days break and the next person gets it...that person never seems to make it in time to the toilet, but "shares" with my hallway floor....so by about 2 weeks of vommit mania, when all are well and chirpy and full of jumping beans and hyperactivity...i get it!....well atleast i can make my vommit go in the toilet bowl.
ive also discovered , that within arguments you can find vommit...it shows in the form of distastefull, crude, toilet worthy comments and words that seem to flow out of ones mouth like a steady stream of uncontrollable vommit.Your loving husband...and ones self is usually the culprit of this form of vommit.
And then there is the house....always a chaotic mess...and allways performed by that very popular person " no one"...you know the one...where you complain about the chips crunched into the cracks of the lounge cushion, nutela mulched into the floor rug, tiny bits of paper cut up with scissors, and the cry goes out " it wasnt me!!!!"...who squeezed the toothpaste up the hall?.."not me!"...who tipped the coco pops on the floor?..."not me"....who peed on the toilet seat? "not me"
who got into my makeup and painted the vanity with it ?..."not me".....WELL IT SURE AS HELL WASNT ME!!!
so...I have come to the only logical conclusion...the only possible way that my house can be perfect at 10 am and look like the worst cyclone to hit earth tore through by 1pm........MY HOUSE HAS A STOMACH BUG......and a really bad one....it continues to throw up on its self daily...randomly at any given time for no apparent reason.....POOR THING!
well....."IT WASNT ME!"